Poetically Incorrect?

I consider myself a writer. Not really a good one. I don't do it for money. I don't do it for praise. I don't do it for judgment. I do it for myself and myself only. Have since I was about 13. It helps me figure stuff out... not to mention it's a great way to spend the time and feel like I'm doing something worthwhile.

With that said.

I came across a poetry website. I found it interesting. It's a large website with something like 20,000 members thus far. People come and go... posting their poems... getting feedback... leaving feedback on other writings. It seemed to be an excellent way to meet other poets (classically trained and not). Another creative outlet in such a serious world. I browsed around for a couple of hours before I tested the waters.

Beware of sharks.

I know I can be sensitive. Overly sometimes. I can be tender hearted just like you. I'm easily wounded at times. Nothing new. In this website, there is a place where the beginner poet can post their written word and expose their heart for some constructive, gentle and hopefully helpful criticism.

This was what I was looking forward to. I was NOT there in order to receive praise. I was NOT there in hopes that someone would say "You are the best poet since Poe!" I was NOT there to be secretly discovered and rushed into a book publishing contract which would sell millions and be in the Top 10 for a year straight. Got it?

I simply and humbly posted a poem in hopes to get some sort of feedback from these more established poets. People who I would assume would know how to help a gal out. The discussion board guidelines even said that beginners would receive "gentle" help. If someone feels they are more advanced, they are to post on the more advanced discussion board.

Got it? Gentle.

Apparently I need to work on my sensitivity. I poked a hole through my emotional wall and I popped out a poem. A poem - that I thought - was pretty good. I'm not one to ring my own bell. I'm not one to say that I'm The Top. I don't think I'm all that and a bag of chips, or donuts or chocolate or whatever your craving might be. When you are first presenting yourself, you tend to put out what you are most secure about. Right? If I have a date (this is a hypothetical comparison obviously), I'm not going to wear torn up sweat pants and not have showered. Get my point?

I do have to say that there were a couple of comments by various people who did like the poem. I hate to not give them air space. I like those people. They are the nice ones. I'm going to hang out with them more often. They like me. I adore people who like me.

However.

I've had one S.O.B. that has stirred up trouble for me since I first hit "enter". I've checked out his own poetry. He's good. I don't understand the conflict between the two of us. I find him rude... but he does it in a pleasant way. It's like imagining someone saying to you, "You are so stupid and ugly", but with the most pleasant of voices.

Son of a...

Mother...

He basically is saying that I have no rhythm and that my rhymes are forced. Like I said earlier in this rambling... I don't mind constructive criticism. I really REALLY don't. It's just his rudeness and attitude that has totally pissed me off.

I accidentally misspelled his name and he got mad. He said that he was hoping I wasn't being insulting to him. Whatever. I freakin misspelled his freakin name. Sheesh. Good grief.

There are other people who have posted some suggestions to make the poem better... and to that I'm very grateful. I think this is wonderful. I'll think more on what they suggest and I'll take them into high consideration.

But that one guy just needs to take his poetry and go home.

Ok, I feel better.

Not sure if I'll post another poem on there. Maybe I will. Depends. I don't like fighting with people... face to face OR on the www. The one funny thing is that I can't be rude back to him because I'll get booted from the site. Sucks. He's been around for a while, so I guess he can do whatever. So basically, I defended myself and put him in his place with the same "pleasant voice" attitude that he gave me.

I really just wanted him to bite my ass.

Trash = Love

The trash needs to be taken out.

I've been doing some "spring cleaning" and I've got two big trash bags sitting on the floor in the kitchen waiting to be taken out to the already-over-flowing trash can. Why is it that I can do all the work of spring cleaning, but taking two trash bags out is out of the question? What is it about this chore that makes me not wanna do it?

I'm not married. Never have been. And since I'm not psychic, I don't know if I ever will be. I've survived all these years doing everything myself. I take out the trash, take care of the car, lawn, cleaning, cooking, laundry, bills... you name it. However, I don't do all of these things well. I don't need a roommate. Don't want one. But if I found ONE guy... just ONE guy who would do some of this crap, I'd marry him in a New York heartbeat. A freakin New York heartbeat.

SWF ISO CMM (chore-minded-man)

Ok, maybe I exaggerate. Maybe I wouldn't marry him. That's pretty extreme. Maybe I would just keep him around long enough to make it look like I'm highly considering it. He's got a good sporting chance to convince me. I really don't even care if he does these things himself or if he hires someone to do it. Honestly. Let's take the lawn... higher someone. Fine. I don't care. Really. I'm all about it. All I want out of life is to come home and realize the Lawn Fairy had come to see me while I was gone. Or the changed-the-oil-in-the-car Fairy. I really don't ask for much.

I'm a reasonable woman.

Don't think that I'm just this completely selfish woman here. I'm willing to put my own sweat into this relationship. Give me a list. Just go ahead and give it to me and let's see what the demands are. I guarantee that most of them are do-able. I'll trade you car maintenance/bills for cleaning/laundry. I'll give you lawn work for absolutely any sexual favor you want. See? It'll work out just fine. Everyone's happy.

Ok, fine.

As much as this relationship of convenience sounds good, I know that I want more... like love, connection, respect, laughter... someone with emotional integrity. But I tell ya, if he's all that AND pays the bills on time, I'll make sure he's one very happy man.

Ok, gotta go take out the trash now.