Taboo: Chapter One

I'm about to embark on some sensitive territory here.

There are certain topics that people don't discuss. For whatever reason. They are private issues that make people uncomfortable. The topics are taboo. Announcing your point of view sometimes can either ridicule you or make you a hero. It depends on the audience around you.

Why is it that we can’t talk about them? Is it because we carry so much shame? Was the shame ignited by our own hands or are we carrying around the shame of others?

Do we not talk about these issues because of our fear of stepping on toes? Because it’s politically incorrect? Can’t offend people? I personally feel that today’s society is too sensitive. I find it funny that everyone gets in an up-roar when something off-color is said, while the stuff we watch on TV makes those statements look like a nursery rhyme.

Sex, religion, abortion, homosexuality, politics

… fill in your own blank. There are many more to choose from.

There’s this 26 year old guy from Michigan who’s causing a stink in the court system about reproductive choices for men. He’s fighting for an equal level of protection under the “freedom of choice” law. He wants men to be given as much a choice as women if there’s an unexpected bun in the oven. He says that women have complete control… they can abort, keep the kid, or put it up for adoption while men are left having to put duct tape across their mouth and accept the choice. Apparently his ex-girlfriend ended up preggers and he wasn’t ready to fulfill any fatherly duties.

Ok, so here’s my view point:

I agree with him.

I’ve actually wondered about this for many years. I’ve often wondered about all those men who actually WANTED their kid, but then having to surrender to the baby’s momma’s choice for abortion. And then there’s the flip side… the women who choose to have their baby with men who have no desire to be fathers.

Now don’t get me wrong, if two people are married, I think you are both responsible. That's just the contract of marriage. I know of too many women who have gotten knocked up on purpose just to trap their boyfriend into a life long miserable commitment. I also know too many people who have gotten pregnant waaaay on accident and it always has been the woman who makes all the decisions.

I’m an “equal rights” kind of gal.
I’m a “freedom of choice” kind of gal.

I have never had an abortion. I’ve never been faced with that type of gut wrenching choice. But to be honest, I personally couldn’t do it. I couldn’t abort my baby – embryo - fetus – whatever you want to call it. However, I’m not going to judge another woman’s choice to do so. I’ve had friends who have had abortions. Shoot, I drove someone to an abortion clinic myself many moons ago. We were both very young, she was scared, and it was the only option she felt she had.

But so much attention is on the woman. What about good ole dad? The child is part his, too. That kid may have his eyes and nose and DNA, but Daddy has no say so in whether this child lives or dies. And what if he doesn’t want to be a father? Doesn’t matter. He’s forever stuck with the label of dead-beat-dad when the truth is he was just trying to get laid. If the woman doesn’t want to be a mother, she has two options. He? None.

Ok, I’m going off on a tangent, I know. That’s what happens when I start writing without a plan. Ok, fine. I never have a plan.

If I were to ever find myself in that situation, I would hope and pray that it would be with a man who will love me and our child. If he chooses to leave, I would be pissed and heartbroken. I guess the solution is to always play it "safe" – both guys and dolls.

I would love to go into the other taboo topics, but I feel that I’ve said enough in this little blog entry. Who knows, maybe I’ll tackle one of the others later.