Wasting Time in Circles

He calls me every time he sends me an email just so I’ll know that he has sent me an email.

I cannot express how this irritates me. He’s a client of mine and therefore I can’t tell him that he’s an idiot. I can’t explain to him that only complete morons do this. To insult him would only cause him to withdrawal all projects and never use me again. As nice as that may sound, he’s a client that seems to willingly pay me whatever I charge him. Never complains. Just sends the check.

To call someone and alert them to an email is probably the biggest waste of time ever. Why would one find it necessary to do this?

His email:

I need 6000 8.5x11, trifold, four color brochures designed and printed by the beginning of next month. Attached are photos and the copy.

His phone call:

I want to let you know that I need 6000 8.5x11, trifold, four color brochures designed and printed by the beginning of next month. I have emailed you photos and the copy.

Thank God for caller ID.

What purpose does this phone call serve? It’s not like I wait days until I reply to his email. It’s not like he has no clue if I’ve received it or not. If the man needs brochures, he’ll get brochures. Along with a nice invoice that says “Thank you for your business!” typed in bold print at the bottom.

When I see his name pop up in my inbox, I know the phone is about to ring. I’ve begun to ignore his phone calls and send them straight to voice mail. And then this stirs up another issue: having to wait a couple of hours before I reply to his email. If I reply right away, he knows I’m accessible. He knows that I’m at my computer working and just didn’t answer my phone. The things I do to avoid hurting the feelings of the people who pay me money. After the appropriate length of time has passed, my reply emails always are the same: “Just got your message. No problem. I’ll let you know if I have questions.” And that’s it.

Not only does this waste his time, it wastes mine. The emotional energy that I generate dodging phone calls and sending delayed emails is enough to have its own charge on his invoice.

I waste enough of my own time and don’t need his help.

The other day I realized that every time I walk through my hallway, I glance at the answering machine to see if I missed a message. Every time. Even if I’ve been home for hours. And the crazy part is that people never call me on my home phone… yet I still look. I can give you names of only five people who call me at home. And rarely at that. My home phone number is used for DSL purposes as well as passing out to the millions of men who request it. Ok, maybe not millions. Hundreds. Ok, a few. The few guys who have asked me for my number… they get the home number. It’s the Single Gal Policy. A rule. The last thing I need is for some turned-out-to-be-freaky guy calling my cell phone and wasting even more of my time by bugging the hell out of me all day.

I also waste time turning on the bathroom light even though it’s obviously already on. Without even looking, I reach to flip the switch upwards. I then think I must have missed my aim because nothing flipped, so I immediately try again. Realizing my own stupidity, I roll my eyes and sigh. Of course I’m also wasting electricity by leaving the light on in the first place. Don’t tell Al Gore. I’m very much aware of my own inconvenient truth.

There are a million other ways I waste time, but it still irritates me when someone like my client does it. One thing when I do. Another when it’s done to me.

I find it interesting as I write about wasting time…

my elderly dog enters into the room and begins walking in large circles. Over and over again. She has Cognitive Dysfunction Syndrome (aka doggie dementia). Walking repeatedly in large circles is a waste of time. She’s not going anywhere. Shoot, she doesn’t even know if she wants to go somewhere. She’s oblivious. She’ll walk in circles until I physically put my hand on her and stop her. Her timing is quite appropriate.

How many circles do I walk every day without even realizing it?

Maybe that’s what we all do: Walk around in circles until someone puts their hand on our shoulder and says “No. This way…”

Maybe my problem isn’t wasting time… but listening.