Not even if you were the last man on earth and I was out of batteries.

He was being subtlety obvious.

I’ve now seen him three times in the chiropractor’s office. It seems our similar work schedule allows us to both have only 5pm appointments… on the same day. He’s a talkative guy. I know all about his job, children, and the car accident he had in December. He is also very open telling me how he’s looking for a woman. He has no problem blinding my eyes with his lit up vacancy sign.

“I’m tired of seasonal women. You know the kind that’s only around for a while? I’m looking for someone who will stay for the long run.”

He’s told me this three time now.

I assume by my lack of response he feels I haven’t heard him. That I haven’t picked up on his underlining meaning. But the truth is I’ve picked up on it and I’m not interested.

“Oh look, you showed up for our date,” he says every time I walk in. Although he thinks he’s being cute, I find it annoying. I pleasantly smile back with a polite “Oh yes, here I am.”

The juicy part of our “date” occurs when we are conveniently sitting next to each other in the massage room. While we are both hooked up to the electro muscle massager thing-a-ma-jigs, he fills me in on his lonely life and gives me updates on his aches and pains. I humor him by injecting a “yes” or “no” or “oh, I’m sorry” into the one sided conversation.

Today he told me how big his house is. I guess I looked like I cared. Maybe he thought if I knew this tidbit of real estate information, I would realize what a great guy he is. That somehow I would see him differently. That I would feel that having a big house would over-rule the fact that I’m totally physically uninterested.

“I have this huge two story house that is just too big for me. Since it’s just me, most of the house is unused. It sure would be nice to have someone to share it with.”

Not me, mister.

I remained hooked up to the mechanical back massager thingy while he gathered his belongings. Standing there in the doorway, he continued a loooong story about one of his friends. Since I wasn’t paying attention, I can’t even remember what the story was. Thankfully my new lover soon said his goodbyes and headed off to that big lonesome house on the hill.

I’m flattered by my new Casanova’s complimentary comments.

It’s sad that I have absolutely no interest in him. Not even his big two story house is enough to convert my feelings. I have no doubt that he would be a good provider and cook me breakfast in bed, but there’s something about physical attraction that I cannot avoid. It’s a shame really. I think I’ll break up with him when I see him on our next date.

What can I say… I’m a seasonal woman.