The Exorcism of Wal-Mart

I went to Wal-Mart yesterday for my weekly social outing. It’s a sad life when you’ve been reduced down to putting lipstick on for a trip to Wal-Mart. It’s not like I find myself having conversations with strangers. In fact, they usually piss me off. I have found that I become so incredibly self-centered while pushing my cart through this biggie sized convenient store. I always feel that people are in my way.

These are actually thoughts that ran through my mind just yesterday at Wal-Mart:

“I think I had the right-of-way there, mister.”

“No she DIDN’T just cross in front of me!!”

“Can’t he scoot that cart over instead of taking up the whole freaking aisle? Sheesh. How rude.”

“Hey, Ms. I-shouldn’t-be-wearing-a-tube-top… get your twelve fatherless kids out of my way.”

I’m not even sure why I insist on putting myself through such hell. It must be self-punishment for some reason. I keep going back for more. It’s like a bad boyfriend. He irritates the snot out of you, but you stick around because he’s convenient and there’s really no where else to go.

About ten miles straight to the back of the store, you’ll find the music and video section. They always have these big bins full of discounted DVD’s. I just love digging through these bins. I can spend a very long time burrowing through hundreds of these cheap movies and I get excited when I find one I like. I’m sure I’ve toppled over inside a bin while not knowing my butt was straight up in the air. Oh my. How attractive.

I was obviously in a dark mood yesterday while searching though a bin, because I bought: Red Dragon, Natural Born Killers and The Exorcism of Emily Rose. Ok, the last one wasn’t on sale. Paid a full price of 13 bucks. Three movies about death and evil. Hmmmmm…

I love scary movies. I really really love them. The scarier the better, too. I’m the kind of whacko that likes to be so scared that it makes me afraid to walk to my car. Sick, I know. I get bored easily with the blood-and-guts movies – Freddie, Jason, etc. I like to at least have a plot to challenge me.

So last night about 9pm or so, I turned off all the lights and watched The Exorcism of Emily Rose by myself. Alone. In the dark. Really dark. By myself. The Exorcism of Emily Rose. Yup. And I loved it.

I had never seen the movie before. Someone at work told me that she thought it was really scary – but she’s a weenie, so I wasn’t sure if I trusted her review. Since Wal-Mart brainwashes everyone through some sort of electronic-wave-star-trek-james-bond thing through the air, I bought the movie blindly... and I really liked it.

And that’s all I’ve got to say about this week's Wal-Mart trip.