It All Comes Down to the Dog

It’s election day. Everywhere you go, there they are. Those people. The ones who stand on every corner with the hot sun beating down on them. Their sweaty tired hands holding up that predictable red, white and blue sign which advertises the candidate they support. They’re proud. You can tell from the smiles and waves they give you. Peering at me through my window as if I’m their best friend. And I would be if I voted for their candidate.

I was impatiently sitting at a stop light at one of the busiest intersections which has a church on the corner. Before I go on, I must say that I’ve always found it odd that most voting places are in churches. Somehow in my pea brain it doesn’t seem to fit with the whole separation of church and state thing. Maybe it’s just me. Probably. Usually is. Anyway, there I am. Avoiding eye contact with these cheery, desperate, sign holding volunteers. Through the crowd I see a lady sitting in a chair right smack dab on the corner. Using her sign of hope to shield her eyes from the sun while yelling out the name of her political choice. I thought, she sure is smart using that chair. Bet she's tired. I then realize there’s a dog sitting at her feet. I move my car up a bit to get a clearer view of the type of dog. I’m a dog person, so this isn’t shocking or odd.

The light turns green and I move forward slowly while rubber necking to see this dog who I’m now obviously obsessed with. There he is. He’s a poodle. A poodle? Maybe I’m strange. Maybe I over analyze. To me, the poodle is the wrong dog to have supporting a candidate. Why would anyone use a poodle as a political prop? What is it about a poodle that says “I’m here for you… the people.”? To me, the poodle says, “I’m high maintenance. I have special needs that must be addressed on a regular basis. I need to be groomed to look funny so I will be accepted by my poodle peers.” Or maybe “I can’t be my own poodle. I must conform to the rules. I will not fight for what isn’t standard.”

I’m a major dog person. I have three. I’m all about the poodle. Really. Some of my best friends are poodles. But listen, if you’re going to sit out there in that miserable sun waving and showing your toothy smile at strangers all day, wouldn’t you want to make your time productive? You only get so many seconds of “influence time” with each car passing by. Poodle = wrong choice. For God sakes, borrow someone’s lab or golden retriever. Use a dog that will roll around in the mud for you and with you. Work hard for you. Eager to please you. One that enjoys wrestling around with the kids. A shaggy mutt would probably be the best choice. A mutt says, “I’m one of you. I’m all of you. I am you.”

I swear. A poodle. There should be a “do’s and don’ts” list somewhere advising these people on canine marketing.